My Fitness Journey – Monday 14 August, 2017

I vaguely remember a stage in my life when I wasn’t overweight. I dare say I was even skinny. It was during my very early childhood {see above image}.  I even have photos of me in a bikini posing in a cute little girl body. I appear to have a little baby fat, but that’s considered cute. Whenever I look at this photo I kind of can’t believe it was me. Because from about grade 3 – 8 or 9 years of age – all I remember is being fat. Yes I’m not going to sugar coat it in this online journal. I was and I still am fat. I’ve been through a few different trials of dieting and exercise to beat the battle of the bulge. There has been some success. But never the complete success I hope for. This time my fitness journey has so much more meaning. I’m determined like I never have been before.

Bikini body, childhood, fitness journey
My bikini body that I wish I still had

For those of you who haven’t yet been acquainted, I am Samar, creator and blogger of My Curvy Mummy Life. I sometimes refer to myself as Curvy Mummy. It’s a nice title I believe but I need to believe in the person not just the name. So I have started this new segment which I aim to publish on a weekly basis every Monday.

I’m a mum of two gorgeous boys that are very, extremely energetic. My fitness levels at the moment could do with a whole lot-a work. I have been trying to be a #fitmum lately with a new fitness journey. Actually I started when my second boy was about 3 months old. He’s 15 months old now. So a year later and I am proud to say I’m down a few kilos. Not as much as I wanted to be but I’m happy that I weigh what I did when I fell pregnant with him. However, this weight is still considered overweight.

Embarking on a new fitness journey means I’m searching through social media for a lot of answers. Looking at a BMI chart(Body Mass Index) a few months ago on Facebook I got quite a shock. I was under the impression that about 10 kilos stripped off my body would be just right. But in fact to be in the safe level of the BMI chart I need to lose about 15 kilos. Thinking about it carefully I question the statistics and the professional health advice. Do I really want to lose that much? Should I focus on the goal of the amount of kilos I want to lose? Or should I focus on fitting into a particular size?

My body image has played part in my low self-esteem over the years. As I grew older I learned how to deal with it. By wearing clothes that were loose and mostly covered the weird shape I have in my legs. And so, when I became a mum I did something that I had set in my mind not to do. I didn’t want to fall into this trap but I did. What is it you’re wondering? Yes, I kept on wearing the maternity clothes!!! Because they were comfortable and loosened up from the fat pregnant body I had. So they concealed a lot of my flaws in my body. But they made me feel horrible as well because I didn’t like what I was seeing.

I used to detest hearing people tell me that maybe I just have big bones. My body in the nude leaves no hint of bones in most parts. I have a strange pear shape body. My legs are huge compared to my upper body. Recently a doctor told me I have a genetic condition that causes the swelling in my legs. Something like Oedema I think he said.

The way he started his speech I started to think maybe I’ve finally found a doctor that is going to help me. He explained it in detail that my mum brain couldn’t register.  I did however register him pointing out that it was hereditary and nothing could be done about it. Well, thank you very much!!! I’m there for a consultation about my varicose veins and that’s what I get. That is just what I wanted to hear.

fitness journey, oedema
The shape of my legs is genetic… This picture doesn’t reveal all the bumps and strange shape.

This irritated me and it was a blow to the self-esteem and motivation. If you haven’t got anything good to say well then forever hold your peace mate!

The next thing I did was call my husband as soon as I got into my car to head back home. I couldn’t wait to whine and complain at home. As always he listened to me well and tried to help me solve this new problem in my head. I was hoping to get my varicose veins treated but the cost I was advised at this appointment couldn’t fit within our budget – one income family. Then as I was driving I kept on procrastinating. I stopped for some retail therapy…Woah, hold up! It was actually to buy a few things I had written on a shopping list. It still classifies as retail therapy for me.

Then I started to think more about my weight and my body image.

I shifted into thinking opposite of what the doctor said. Believing him that nothing can be done to fix the condition in my legs is not on. My new motivation for my fitness journey is to prove his statement wrong. I can work hard on leading a healthy lifestyle which will lead me to the results I’ve dreamt about almost all of my life. My varicose veins are causing me a little discomfort and I am concerned about the chance of them getting worse. But for now my goal is to lose the weight that is part of the contributing factors to this health problem recurring with me.

I’m hoping that in about a year, or less, or more, I can look at myself in the mirror and say I did it. Then I can go back to a different doctor that specialises in treatment of veins, and get them fixed. I’ll get them fixed as the healthy Curvy Mummy that I want to be.

fitness journey
This is a recent pic capturing most of my curves. Black disguises a lot!

My fitness journey has been switched on and off repeat numerous times. The song gets old and I switch off. Then I find a new song and I’m happy again. And so forth. This time it’s forever.

I can and I will.

Follow my blog; check out My Curvy Mummy Life on Instagram and Facebook to keep track of how I’m going. Comment below if you want numbers or stats in future posts…like kilos lost or gained? What type of exercises am I doing? What weights am I lifting and what are the reps? Tell me what you would like to hear most about my fitness journey.

Hope you enjoyed reading this and join me again next Monday for more about My Curvy Mummy Life’s Fitness Journey!

Sincerely,

Samar (Summer)

Curvy Mummy

Body Image, Childhood, Fitness Journey
Can’t believe I was a poser, how gorgeous was my dad’s garden!

 

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