The Curvy Mummy Guide to Making Mum Friends: Part One

It was only a few weeks ago that I posted about my struggle with making mum friends. Putting all my thoughts on this topic in print and exposing it all for anybody to read was actually a positive move.  I wrote about how making mum friends with my first born didn’t really matter to me. My focus was on being a mummy. As he grew older and I had another baby my attitude evolved.

Before I used to worry about how people perceived me. I was always concerned with what first impressions I was giving. Now, by speaking about making mum friends, by letting other mums know that I didn’t find it easy, I

have found a way.

My readers were so kind with their responses to my story. Some of you shared your own experience. And some of you offered help and so many well wishes. It opened up my eyes to the power of mum support. I found that turning to other mums through my writing was a wonderful thing to do for myself. Making mum friends is achievable.

I’ve even found that I actually do have a lot of mum friends. Some are nearby, some are a drive away, and some are very long distance. One mum friend in particular is a lovely mother that I got to know back in my working days. It was before we both even became mums. We chat a lot in cyber space.  We know each other so well and at times we forget about the massive interstate distance. I’m so glad that I have

this mum friend to turn to and she knows that I’m there for her to. So with this beautiful mum friend I made the effort to keep in touch. With other mum friends I am starting to think maybe I haven’t made enough effort.

So here I am, writing a list of 5 things that I am doing to overcome the struggle of making mum friends. If I can do it…so can you!

1 – Friendship Finder

There are so many resources on the internet for mums who are wanting to find new friends. I started searching through groups on Facebook before I even started to write about all of this. One of the groups I joined is called Women Building a community – The Friendship Finder. It’s linked to the page called… take a guess … yes, it’s Friendship Finder!!!

Through my interactions within this group I found so much mama love is out there. Go to their Facie (Facebook nickname) page, give them a like and join their group too.

2 – Mama Tribe

The mission these ladies are on is so full of love and care. They aspire to ensure their motto ‘No Mum Left Behind’ is achieved. In addition to their Facie page Mama Tribe they have created several groups that you can join. You can do a search for the group that is specific to your region. How amazing is that. I started my membership with their main group and naturally then also joined the one that included my location.

These mamas are a supportive network bringing so many mums together. Making mum friends with this group of mentors is absolutely happening for so many mums already. Check out their website and follow them on Instagram as well. Join in a tribe that is in your area and start making mum friends.

3 – The Self Care MAMA Project

Still talking about the Facebook love here… Kirstie Stockx is a mum, wife and author of ‘Self Care for New Mums’. She has created a group you can join to become part of another incredible mum community. Based in Bendigo, Victoria, Kirstie is co-ordinating mum meet ups on a regular basis. She often does live posts in the group so that she can share her knowledge on Self-care for mums.

This is a wonderful initiative and I believe that even if you’re not in or around the area you can get a lot out of joining. I only recently started getting more involved in practicing Self-care. The urge hit me when I started following other Self-care advocates on Instagram. I never realised how important this was for me, not only as a mum, but as my own person. The benefits are not only for me, but for my family also. Check out Kirstie’s Facebook link, have a good squiz and join her group.

4 – My own Facie group for mum play dates

Yes, I know it’s getting a little bit like a Facebook plug now. But how can it not, when Facie is all about socialising. And making mum friends is just all about being social.

So I had huge response to my post ‘Making Mum Friends, is there a How to Guide for this?‘ I even shared the article in a local mums group and received some lovely feedback. Another mum who is new to the area contacted me and we joined forces to end the mum friend drought. (insert smiley emoji here)

I decided to add to my current cyber space workload and created a new group for us. It’s slowly gaining new members and we have had one mum play date already. Isn’t it amazing what the act of interacting with people in social media can do?

Have a go at creating your own group? You can do it just to get some people to join who are looking for an online pen pal too. Anything you like.

5 – My mother’s group

In the beginning of participating in a mother’s group it’s exciting and intriguing. You’re getting to know each other from scratch and hearing different birth stories. You’re children are all at the age where you can kind of control their noise. So having a mum chat is sort of possible and makes you feel like you’re back in the real world again.

But then the leader – the lady employed by the maternal and child health services – has to leave the group. You’re left to organise your catch ups on your own. With 4 or more mamas experiencing mushy mum brain syndrome do you really think this is going to work?

Well it works for a little bit. Then life gets in the way and some turn up still but others can’t. Again, I need to refer to Facebook. Whaaaat? Yes, we have a Facie group for this too. It’s a wonderful way of communicating things with each other that nobody else needs to know. And it helps you to avoid sending messages that can send off ring tones on your phone at night. I’ve tried to keep active with my communications with these mamas. I aim to try and join in the future catch ups too. But when I can’t I know we can reach each other through Facebook.

So there you have it. These are just 5 ways that I am working with in my quest for making mum friends. I’ve learned to open up a lot by creating my blog. I’m also learning to become social again after closing myself in a shell after having my first baby. I am taking advantage of opportunities I can recognise in my daily situations. My mentality now is if you want something to happen you have to work for it to make it happen.

 

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14 Replies to “The Curvy Mummy Guide to Making Mum Friends: Part One”

  1. Wow, amazing post. It is so great when fellow mommy’s are there to support each other, the best thing for a mom and for the kids. Facebook groups and other social channels are so close to making fellow mum friends, thank you for this post!

  2. I am not a mom but it’s awesome that you have so many tips for mom’s to make friends! Hopefully one day, I can look back at your blog and use your wonderful tips.

  3. If I am still not a mom I know it’s a hard 24/7 work that you can’t quit. And it’s great when you have someone to understand and support you.

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