Living as a one income family has its perks and perils. There was a time where it was the norm for the husband to be the sole bread winner. I remember the days where it was expected for a woman to be a housewife. Women stayed home to care for their babies and to be there when their older children arrived from school. Housewives have been portrayed in the media as pretty and well-groomed in the past. They always had perfect manners and greeted their husbands with; How was your day love? I mostly remember this in films such as Bewitched and Happy Days. Yes those are really old films but I loved watching them and I still do when they appear on day time TV. Today this is all very different. Women have a choice to be Stay at Home Mums, Work at Home Mums, or Working Mums.
Imagine being home with child, sitting on the couch waiting for your hubby to walk through the door so you can lazily say to him, How was your day love? I chose to be a stay at home mummy with full support of my husband.
Before I even became pregnant this topic was addressed between my husband and me. We felt the need to have this worked out together and to be on the same level before we started our family. It wasn’t a hard decision. We each came from an upbringing where our mothers didn’t work. Therefore we value the privilege of having mummy there for her children during their younger years for most of the time. However, we also recognise the need for mums to go back to work at some stage. We have experienced this with family as well as my mother in law did make the move to return to work at a later stage in her life.
On the application for birth certificates parents have to list their occupations. For my first child I’d not long finished working so I chose the title – Customer Service Co-ordinator. I used to dream big yeah? hehehe. Then with my second boy I chose to write Stay At Home Mum as my occupation. But the instruction was completely ignored. We received the birth certificate adorning the words ‘Home Duties’ next to the Mother’s Occupation. So if it’s an occupation why is there no pay entitlement for it? I felt like it was disregarding the role of a mother who chooses this lifestyle.
I remember the time when there was a push for more babies with the introduction of the ‘Baby Bonus’ scheme by our Australian Federal Government. This has been changed so much now to a point where it’s almost being scrapped. The big thing now is encouraging mothers to return to work or study. The incentives are far less than ever before. This has had a fairly big impact on our financial struggles. But we don’t have any regrets with the choice we have made.
The 24/7 responsibility of my two boys is very important to me. Before I became Mum I used to think it would be easy to hand my kids over for someone to babysit. I had so many of these types of lovely ideas in my head. But once I had my first baby in my arms this was not the case. I have been so immersed in mothering both of my children to the point where I forget to ask my hubby; How was your day love?
Being at home all the time I get to do a lot of things with my children that other mums don’t have time for. I get to take them out places and to special children’s events. Cooking muffins is so much more fun because I can have them there helping me and making more mess. Gardening with my boys means I get to watch then get the dirt all over them. And then I get to clean it all up!
Most often daddy comes home and goes one better than me and asks; How was your day love? or What did you all get up to today?
Feeling overwhelmed is something I experience almost everyday being a mother. It's hard work and I'm the kind of person that bites more than I can chew. Some days I feel like I just can't fit anymore into my daily life. Then there are days where I think I'm so good I might even handle a third kid. Halt the record player right there. No there aren't any plans for more. My eldest just makes me clucky when he mentions wanting a sister. But I have so much to achieve with my goals at the moment. It wouldn't be fair to me or my family if I add anything else to our busy life…be it baby or work. What strategies do you find help to get rid of the overwhelmed feeling? . . #uniteinmotherhood #unitedinmotherhood #ig_motherhood #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodthroughig #mumsofinstagram #mumsofmelbourne #melbournemums #melbourne #mummy #mumlife #mumofboys #mummyblogger #mummybloggerau #instamum #mum #overwhelmed #butstill #happy #instagood #instagolden #curvymummy #readmyblog #writing #inspiration #mycurvymummylife
It’s not all sunshine and lollipops. I have moments of exhaustion and sheer frustration from my role as Stay at Home Mum. There have been times where I do things I never thought I would. I’ve been in the shed fixing things. These are the times where I feel bad that my husband has to work so hard and come home to another repair job. I’ve even been in the garden with the spade and fork because I get fed up with seeing the weeds every time I look through the windows. We don’t have a list of chores where who does what is specified. We just do what we do and help each other whenever we can.
So it hasn’t been the easiest lifestyle for either of us. But it’s how we want it and I can acknowledge with pride that we are so lucky to be able to do what we want.
I never wanted to be one to call my husband while he is at work unless I had an emergency. But I’ve had quite a few emergencies. Some of these emergencies have been funny ones. There was a time where I was cleaning the bathrooms. I walked into the shower and proceeded to re-position the shower head so that it wouldn’t spray all over me as I clean. And SNAP! The main part of it just snapped and it was hanging by a thread of the steel it’s made of.
What did I do next besides swear my head off? I picked up my phone, called my husband, when he finally answered I did Face Time with him (video call in case you’re not familiar with face time). Yes I wanted him to see the damaged shower head. But most importantly I wanted to complain and vent. It wasn’t until we finished our conversation that I realised I just put on a great show for all the people working around him. Whooops!
Then there are those days where I’ve just had more than enough of the boys…on my own with them…at home…all…day…long! And hubby gets home, walks through the door; the boys run to him and greet him with open arms. He smiles at me… I stare back with a death look face, and then I state, “They’re all yours”. This is from a woman who wants to be there for her children 24/7!!! Not only that, but I forget to consider that my husband may have had a bad day as well. I don’t stop to think and ask; How was your day love? Instead I start complaining about everything I’ve been through and how I haven’t sat down once, blah, blah, blah, blaaaah, blaaaaah!
It can be so easy to run out of patience and start wishing the day would finish quickly so that I can get to bed. Then when my boys are peacefully sleeping either in my arms, on my bed or on the couch in daddy’s arms, I look at them and hope time would slow down. I love being at home with them. There are times it takes me all day to remember to ask my hubby, How was your day love?
If he is reading this right now I want to say to him; “I appreciate everything you do for me, even when I don’t say it. I know how hard you’re trying to make it all work. We’re in this together and I know we will make it. Now when’s our next holiday? Oh, and have I asked you how was your day?”
With all of that said, and if you’re still reading I’d like you to know why I decided to become a blogger. If you haven’t already clicked through my website and social media to find out here it is. I found myself at a point where I know I’m happy with two children. I’ve recognised the need for me to do something for myself. I need something to help me get out there again and reacquaint myself with the working woman lifestyle. But I still want to be able to do this whilst at home for my children.
I would like to go from Stay at Home Mum to Work at Home Mum. Writing was a dream of mine a long time ago. So what better way to pursue this dream and others that go hand in hand with blogging? What other dreams you wonder… photography, modelling (hahaha), marketing, psychology, and accounting. There is so much more involved in making my blog worthwhile for my readers to visit. I’m doing it all on my own with inspiration from my family, my friends and my social media tribe.
I have become a mummy blogger for me, and for my family. This is my ‘Why’.