I am honoured to be sharing with you a cyber interview with a self driven successful business woman. Bree Stedman’s work is inspired by her own life as a mum, both the chaos and the clarity are her inspiration. Own your BS is available online and in workshops which you can attend in person. In this cyber interview Bree shares a lot of her own experiences and explains how you can Own your BS with her online tools. Remember the links will be available for you at the finish line too…
Hi, I’m Bree and I’m a Female Head Talk Expert – I help mums in business and ambitious women turn negative, sabotaging and destructive self talk into emotional control and confidence…. In simple terms, that means I help you to get out of your head and back into enjoying life in alignment with what makes you happy. I’ve been working with women in a leadership and mentoring role for more than 13 years, and during that time I’ve recognised that more often than not we hide our internal struggles and challenges behind a ‘grin and bear it, I’m fine’ attitude – which although admirable isn’t fair to either you or your family. I’m on a mission to really empower mums so they no longer have to fake it, they can genuinely enjoy their lives, their families and themselves.
Before we get into the serious things, would you like to tell us the worst thing your kids have done?
O lord! So many stories. My son is ADHD and ODD so regularly he acts very impulsively. One memorable moment was when he chased his sister through the house with a big carving knife.
So I’ve had a little peek at your website. The first thing that grabs me is this line:
—- How to go from Crazy Psycho Mumma to Cool, Calm & Confident so they get the best of you —-
Could you please talk to us a little bit about the inspiration behind this tagline and the title “Own Your BS”
My own journey and experience has always been the driving force behind what I now do. In 2012 I was the ultimate crazy psycho mumma – I was literally an aggressive, violent out of control mum and my then 4 year old son copped the brunt of my behaviour.
I know what it’s like to ‘put on a smile’ for the public world when all you want to do is scream ‘I can’t do this, it’s too hard and I don’t know what I’m doing’.
I know what it’s like to be reacting one way, while thinking ‘this is crazy, get a grip of yourself!’ but not being able to bring yourself back to control.
That’s where the term emotional control also comes from…. To Own Your BS – that is to recognise that the shit you are telling yourself is your responsibility to address – is not about pushing the negative down, ignoring it or trying to just ‘replace’ it with positive thinking, it’s about acknowledging the truth, because those thoughts are there for a reason. They stem from something you’re not allowing yourself to fully see.
But with emotional control you can work through those life events as they happen, more logically and reasonably so that you can make choices that align more naturally with what you want (and who you want to be!)
Own Your BS comes from a combination of my initials and my approach to life – I truly believe that if something doesn’t feel right, if it’s not serving you long term, then it’s BS – and while ever you allow it to take your focus, you’ll be allowing it to take control. Owning your BS means getting back in the drivers seat of your thoughts, your emotions and therefore your life.
What inspired you to begin Podcasts?
I really just want to reach as many women as possible on as many platforms as possible. I feel that most of what is available for women now-a-days in regards to self-help and personal development is predominantly a short term ‘fluff and stuff’ band-aid solution that certainly doesn’t take into consideration our more emotional and hormonal female brain. My podcast is just another avenue to keep sharing my message, to inspire and encourage women to step up and ‘Own it’. To date, each episode of Own Your BS: The Podcast explores common stories, hang-ups and excuses that I know women tell themselves – things like “I’m not good enough”, “I should” and “I can’t do this”. Over time I’ll include expert interviews to explore other contributing factors to negative self-talk, such as hormones and life ‘trigger’ events.
Please tell us more about what you offer in your program. How can we access your online resources and how often do you hold events?
When I wrote my Best Selling Book, Own Your BS: The No-Nonsense Guide to addressing your Female Head Talk, I decided that I wanted to offer a more detailed, hands-on experience for women who wanted to go even deeper into owning their limitations.
Own Your BS: The Program is a 6 week online course that provides you with a comprehensive tool box of strategies that you can bring out and empower yourself with when life happens. And because I know that life will always have it’s ups and downs, participants get Life Time access when they register. I’d like to think Own Your BS: The Program will become the ‘go to’ for when times get tough.
- Prior to writing both the book and the program, I’d spent many years reading other expert books and participating in courses – and to tell the truth, I was kinda fed up with the same, surface level advice being highlighted. I knew that it didn’t really address why negative thoughts and emotions kept having an impact on womens lives. I literally set out to write the most no-nonsense, meat and potato, straight to the point products that I could with personal empowerment as the focus – I want my readers and program participants to finish each chapter or module thinking ‘YES! That makes sense, I can do that, I can see how when I implement that my thinking really will improve, and quickly!”
The events portion of Own Your BS is just taking off – I run Online Webinars every 2-3months and will run live workshops, such as the one I ran last month in Charlestown on the 28th April as often as the demand is there. I’ll be scheduling another workshop on the Central Coast for the end May/early June and I’ll be heading down to Melbourne in August and October to run a workshop for BossBabes Australia. I’m essentially available for workshops whenever there’s women that express an interest (and hope that I can take them around Australia one day!)
Do you have any fears as a Mother?
My biggest fear is having my kids grow up feeling like they don’t have control of their lives – the direction they want it to go in and their emotional state. I know I can’t control what happens to them – the life they experience is out of my hands, particularly as they grow up, but I hope to give them the emotional resiliency and self belief that tells them there is always a choice available for them and they always have the power to make change happen.
What is something you miss about life before kids?
Social time? I’m pretty fortunate, I really love my life now – the flexibility and freedom that we enjoy is pretty incredible, however I do miss social time with my friends – that spontaneous time when you really don’t have to think about getting up to the kids tomorrow.
Do you have a funny supermarket story with your kids that beats the regular stories we hear?
My daughter lost her second or third tooth while walking into the local woollies and promptly lost it in the fruit and veg department. I spent a good 10 minutes crawling around on my hands and knees trying to find it while she stood there howling that it was lost and the tooth fairy wouldn’t come as a result. We didn’t find it (I just hope it didn’t get dropped in someones grapes!)
Where do you see yourself heading with your role of Female Head Talk Expert?
I have a couple of visions for this.
I’d like the approach we take to Negative Head Talk to become more practical and less complicated – to be something that can be discussed without ‘taboo’ – there is so much shame around what we are telling ourselves, and so much fear of judgement – if we could just start getting real by focusing on what we can DO with our thoughts, I feel like we as women will all be a much greater positive impact to the world around us. MY role as a Female Head Talk Expert is to keep this conversation going. And so one dream is to be speaking in front of big groups of women and teaching them from the stage how to release the intense charge of an emotion all together – without going into story, just focusing on the shift that can be created when we work on the cause of negative thinking.
Of course I’ve previously done TV, radio and other media outlets which I thoroughly enjoy so I’d love to do more of that aswell. But,
My big big big vision is to have the strategies taught in Own Your BS to be common knowledge by mums around Australia and they in turn teach them to kids – to encourage emotional resiliency.
Is there any advice you would like to give to Mums and Mums-to-be?
Be mindful of the pressure you put on yourself to be more than you are – the doubts, the should, the second guessing. Learn to appreciate your decisions, actions and strengths, your achievements and the connection you have with your family and loved ones. When that negative head talk starts, recognise it. Write it down on a piece of paper (don’t just keep listening to it because it will just keep repeating itself until you DO something with it) and one quick question you can ask yourself once you’ve written down your negative thought is
“Am I choosing to validate this or am I going to reject it?”
This is a choice you have with every single negative thought you tell yourself – validating it is supporting it, believing it, allowing it to take up space in your life. Reject it is choosing to deny it – by looking for evidence that proves it WRONG. EG: I’m not a good mum – reject that by identifying how you currently care for your child/ren – if they are fed, you have evidence you are a good mum. If they are safe, more evidence you are a good mum. If you’ve shown them love, there’s even MORE evidence you are a good mum.
By purposefully shifting your focus from the negative thought to examples of your achievements or strengths you are taking a step towards emotional control and Owning your BS
Let’s finish with a funny… Describe a time you did something really silly because of lack of sleep.
I’m really struggling to recall a silly sleep deprived moment – I don’t function well without sleep so when it happens it generally just the normal stupid stuff like putting salt in my coffee, taking my remote control in the care mistaking it for my phone, that sort of stuff.
To follow Bree on her socials and check out her websites here are the links for you again 🙂
Bree Stedman – Own Your BS